tired of being pessimistic

it's time i have faith in Him and myself :) it's time i actually believe that with His help i can do this :)

i've been playing solo for quite a while coz i thought i am supposed to go solo. i forgot i'm not alone.

let's do this Bro :)

>>btw, this is not because i just had my recollection. this is the effect of my mom on me. LOL. she's been bugging me that i've been trying to do things on my own when i should give Him some space in my life to help me. pessimistic me somehow managed to kick up my pride level and make me think i can do this alone. so now i've pulled myself back to earth and reality once again, i hope i keep grounded and i am determined to stay with Him :)

oh the irony ❤

i forgot i have a blog. just remembered i have one when i "stalked" someone. tee-hee-hee.

and because of that act, i am fully culpable for breaking my heart :p ok, it's not broken. just bruised. nadapa lang ako. hindi nahulog :p [almost fell for it though.]

reason for this blog: i just find it ironic that i got a bit of confirmation while studying the ❤.

i love you, goodbye.. kyle asked why i still have your pictures in my ipod. i don't know why. i think it's time to free up some space :)

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

rockstar moment

i am highlighting a 45 yr old book. yeah boi.

.aftermath.

after blogging last monday night, i went to the restroom to pee. and then i got locked inside. as i turn the knob, it fell off. i know, WOW. and just my luck! that was the first time i didn't bring my mobile phone with me. but obviously, i was able to get out... after 12 freakin hours. oooooh yeah. i'm now a bit claustrophobic. and i don't wanna see my bathroom door. if only i could have it removed, i would. hahahaha!

oh. and the whole universe is probably LOL-ing at me til now coz since i was locked inside til 1030 or 11am, i missed my anatomy class and they had two quizzes. those quizzes usually serve as the attendance. WOW TALAGA.

i tried what i could to set myself free (haha. oo, set myself free talaga) i tried to dismantle the remaining parts of the knob... i also tried to insert my finger to see if i could hit on something that would retract that thing that connects the door to the wall... i also tried to "break" the door. after 12 hours, i was able to get out of that horrible place by LITERALLY crying out loud. thank you kuya henry for hearing me when i was calling out for help. :D

my parents, after not getting any response from me for 3-4 hours, were relieved to find out that i am still alive. i could still hear my mom's shaky voice (in my mind) when i got to talk to her on the phone after getting out. their travel time from home to here was longer than the time they stayed with me. i didn't even get to have lunch with them coz i'll be late for dissection. i was still lucky, i guess.. if there was a power failure that night, i would've died of suffocation or heart attack.

this is how my door looks like from inside now (i told you i tried to do something to set myself free):

when i got out, i had (just) enough time to pull myself together, review a little bit for dissection, take a bath and go to school. this is me after dissection:

this is my hand with bruises on the palmar surface and blisters with bruises on the pollex:

(other digits also acquired blisters near the nail area.. and oh yeah, my manicure was ruined. haha)

and this is what i have to do to relieve the pain on my right hand... COLD COMPRESS! hahahaha!

.been a while.

ooooh yeah. i gots my name plate this afternoon :D too lazy to take a picture coz i'm sick. hahahaha! [but i just got back from Tagaytay. toinks] hahahaha.

evals next week!!! i wish to get an extremely high score!!! :D

first evals.

rawr. first evals. hahahahaha! anatomy! yeh. yeh. i didn't own youuuuuu. fehkerrroooooooo.

lecture - that was ok.

practicals - zomgwthmfbbq!!!!! :|

so i guess i could say.. 'nuff said? :P

then i got this "message from God" via fb app:

On this day of your life, Kathy, we believe God wants you to know ... that you can be an echo of your past, or the glory of your future.
	Past is connected to future through the present. At this very moment, at every moment, you are choosing to carry on the past with all its troubles on your shoulders, OR to let it go and see bright future pull your forward. Choose wisely.

so i'm choosing to let go and just move on to studying for the subjects tomorrow. and well.. yeah. babawi talaga ako next next week.

yep, evals again next next week :)

i'm also very thankful for being blessed with great parents who understood me and said "ganyan talaga. kaya mo yan. aral ka lang"

ohhhh. i got my whites already. wore them to school today. lookit :D

triple venti

SRSLY. why isn't there a decent coffee shop nearby?? where doctors and/or wanna be doctors could buy coffee, sit, read a book, study, or simply relax?

i am not a coffee addict. but i evolve (parang pokemon lang) when i need some [serious] studying to do. or if i need to get something done. rawr.

so i couldn't take it anymore... yesterday, i went home (to Lipa) and FINALLY got my coffee.

thank you, dad for the treat. wootness. i managed to stay up until 4am and [almost] finish reading all the covered chapters. yeh. almost. i got really really tired that even if i can still open my eyes, my body was just giving up. so now i'm back here in Cavite and all i got is 3in1 sachets. i guess i'm gonna have to deal with that. (t)-.-(t)

btw Cavite, this is how i like my coffee:

my triple venti (nonfat) mint white mocha americano. this is love.

EPIDIDYMIS

...2nd Anatomy Lab session.

we were given 13 or 15 slides. and this is my favorite:

i seriously enjoyed looking at this slide. lol. was listening to "Stay With the Real Thing" while viewing this slide. hahaha! of all the slides, i spent the longest time on this one. hahahaha! coz it's really really cute!!!! i even made it my phone's wallpaper.

as cross reference, i looked for a micrograph of the epididymis on the internet. and this is what i got:

cute talaga diba? hahahahaha!

after the Lab session, i just remembered what epididymis is. to save you time, instead of letting you google it up, here's the definition as per medterms.com :P (with visuals of course. LOL)

brain food :P

Epididymis: A structure within the scrotum attached to the backside of the testis. The epididymis is a coiled segment of the spermatic ducts that serves to store, mature and transport spermatozoa between the testis and the vas (the vas deferens).

short and sweet

this would be shorter than usual coz i've got a lot to read :D

i got my steth! :D

i also got the result of my Anatomy Lab homework. after a FAIL moment, i was able to give myself a little bit of dignity after this (i think) :D i know it's a very simple homework but i'm still giddy giddy happy bout it. LOL.

a splash of red

most if not all know very well that i couldn't live without a computer for a long time. haha.

bringing my iMac to Cavite is ok but i can't bring it to school with me. so my mom bought me a laptop on the condition that i turn over the iMac to my sister and that i have to take care of whatever laptop i'm going to buy and make it last for a looooooong time. LOL. based on experience, MAC (whether the make up or the apple product :P) seriously gives favorable and every-penny-worth service/products. so i managed to convince my parents to get me the entry level macbook.

it's soooooo white. lol. i hate scratches and dirt on white so i bought a hard case to protect it. when i got home and started to set up and install needed applications, i noticed that my laptop, my eyeglasses, and my phone are all red. lol. i'm too lazy to take a picture of my cellphone. so i'll just search google images :P

here's a picture of Red, my macbook with my eyeglasses and a picture i searched on google images :P

i just had my eyes checked. i need to change my glasses. and since i have to go back to Cavite now, i've to use a different frame coz they'll be putting in just the regular lenses. it's still red. LOL.

end of week 1

...so week 1 ends early. but this, SRSLY, is just the beginning for me. week 1 ends and i am more inspired and more determined to do BETTER.. after the FAIL situation i have gotten myself into early this week, i am SRSLY going to reach my limit (or even exceed it) in studying to make up for that stupid boo-boo.

it took me a lot of years for me to be able to decide to actually go into med school. it's not easy to leave the idea of having my own money. it's not easy leaving the lights, the night outs, the coffee sessions, the sleepless nights of party and drinks, and a number fabulous friends the city holds... but from a childhood dream, i am now on my way to being a doctor. and with God's guidance, i believe i could and WOULD be a good one :)

so guys, good luck wishes are appreciated. but i request you to include me in your prayers.. that He may continue to guide me and help me get through this :) this may be a rough road i am in right now, but as they say... "no pain, no gain" :)

my clean sheet of paper :)

i read the whole chapter. but went blank when there was a sudden quiz on anatomy lab. Dr. Amistad was already on item number 5 and i just finished writing my name. [there wasn't supposed to be quiz but the class was noisy during the distribution of slides.]

i didn't have a 1/4 sheet of paper ready. my pen was missing. (talk bout luck) and i couldn't remember the questions except for number 1 which i wrote fat (i don't know why. i knew the choice was either cis or trans) instead of cis. stupid. erasures are not allowed. so yeah, my only chance of getting a point was gone. i couldn't catch up with the questions so i just stared at my paper. passed it after number 10 question was given. and just laughed it off. i stopped by the library to borrow some books i've been itching to borrow coz i'm too kuripot to buy expensive books.

anyhoooooooo....

some questions were familiar but i was just plain blank. all i could hear seemed like jargons when i could recognize them a day before. fehk. fehk. fehk. my brain has been idle for the past 2 years so i'm not being too hard on myself [just hard. lol]. when i got home, that was when it started to hit me. i just failed my first ever quiz. taena. but this doesn't make me feel discouraged. on the contrary, this just made me want to prove that this is for me. that i can do this.

i still want that golden gunting award. =)) =))

taena. hinahamon ako. kelan ako nagpatalo? :P

day 1 :)

first day with lecture. :)

wow. this is the first time i actually listened to the lecture, followed the book while the instructor is discussing, and took down notes. yes there were sleepy moments, but i didn't fall asleep. i was able to pull myself back to the required level of awareness to keep up with the discussion. haha. this is also the first time ever as a student that i have the will to study. LOL. i hope this attitude sticks with me forever coz i believe this journey ain't gonna end :)

oh. i just ordered my own stet, sphygmo, and diagnostic set. it's just generic. but it will do for now :D

First!

the journey starts here :D

wish me luck! :)

[sky high heels, low cut tops, halter tops... sorry but i have to put you away for a while :) sleepless and drunk saturday [party] nights, fllashing lights, deafening party mixes, i'll be with you during breaks (if time permits. lol.) :) you can't be a weekly thing anymore :P]

this is party girl katrina, signing off ;) well, for a while that is.